The Nanny Search Begins... 

Like many working moms out there on maternity leave, there comes a time when you have to go back to work.  For me, I sadly have less than 2 months left... one of the most important tasks I have to do before going back to work is to find a Mary Poppins equivalent of a nanny for Baby R.  Mr. R and I had already decided to find a nanny (versus using daycare) a few months ago. It was a fairly easy choice as there is not a lot of daycare options around us.  And the thought about taking the subways to go to daycare is out of the question. When I was pregnant, I rarely got offered a seat so I can only imagine the horrors of bringing a stroller onto the train during rush hour!!  Once I started talking to friends with nannies, I realized, there is so much to consider regarding the logistics of hiring a nanny:

* Know our work schedules (We both hold fairly demanding jobs. Although it's easy to think we can be home by 6PM everyday, it might be harder to practice in real-life)
* Create list of Job Duties (although this seems clear - take care of Baby R, it really is not.  Do we ask her to bath Baby R? Wash the bottles? Wash her clothes? Clean her toys? Make her food?)
* Create list of optional Job Duties (I have friends who ask their nannies to do light housekeeping while the baby is asleep.  I don't know how I feel about this yet, but perhaps creating a list of optional job duties would be the way to go in tackling some of these non-baby related items)
* Pay package (should we pay off the books? on the books? What kind of vacation times can we offer? Do we offer the nanny all major holidays off with pay?)
* Have a clear set of boundaries, rules (Is TV watching, internet surfing, chatting on the cell phone allowed? How about when the baby is asleep? Can the nanny "hang out" with other nannies? Can they invite other nannies/children into our homes? I must confess, Mr. R and I are both a bit controlling. We definitely don't want to throw a book of rules at the nanny on her first day of work... so this is an area we definitely need to think more about.)
* Discuss our parenting style as so we can find a nanny that is in-line with our style  (this would be easy if we actually know what kind of parenting style we have.  With Baby R being less than 2 months old, we rarely had to think about this. However, since we need a long-term nanny which we want to keep into Baby R's toddler years, we might have to start thinking about this. Do we want someone who is comfortable enforcing discipline & structure or someone laid back?)

Our search for Baby R's nanny starts tomorrow when I interview our first candidate! I am quite nervous about it. I am sure a lot of this anxiety has to do with knowing I need to separate from Baby R soon and I am essentially trying to find someone to replace me! But that's a whole another blog post ....

Will write more about the interview process soon....Wish me luck!

Second Month as a Mom

Baby Prison
[7W1D] I’ve always thought I would be a good mom. But my own vision of a Mom is someone who educates and disciplines. I did not know staying home 24-7, doing feed-burp-change-and-repeat is part of the job too. In fact, that is all to this "job” so far. Yes, I do feel like I’m in baby prison with no early parole. But the minute I see that cute little face, with cute chubby cheeks, and tiny little fingers…I’d like to say it’s all worth it. Or at least for that moment.


Sleeping…for Baobao that is
[4W] I’ve read from many websites and books to NOT nurse your baby to sleep. It will condition the baby to only want to nurse in order to go to sleep. While chewing on Mommy’s boobs was the best and easiest way to put the little one to sleep, I have that fear of a 7-yo needed to nurse before going to bed! So I took the advice of some people and start adding “constants” to the sleeping routine. For example, I know CC falls asleep very easily when I do lying down side-feeding with him (we both lie down, face to face, while he feeds.) So I tried to put him on his bed, on his side instead of on his back, warm up and give him the pacifier, while rubbing his back.

[8W4D] Well, 4 weeks later, we know there is no worries that CC will be a 7-yo who still wants to nurse. In the last week or two, he has started to learn to fall asleep on his own! Hooray!

Kissy Kissy Mommy! Oh, he just wants to eat!
[4W] Yes, Mommy is tricky tricky tricky! When CC wants to eat and roots around, I sometimes kiss his right cheek, and he’ll turn towards me. And then I’ll immediately kiss his left cheek, and he’ll quickly turn towards me again. If I do it quick enough, I keep kissing his mouth instead! Hee hee. Stole many many kisses!

[5W] Although, WORD OF CAUTION, DO NOT assume because they’re rooting, they have no back-up supply of milk in their tummies! One time, the little bugger decided it would be funny to puke a little into Mommy’s open mouth. YUCK!!!

Colic
[4W] Oh yah, CC gets colicky. Something every parent wish and pray and hope their baby will never get. While they say no one really knows what caused colic, one of the most plausible assumption is gas. After coming out of jaundice, CC started to be more alert/awake and ate a lot more as well. Unfortunately his little belly system did not get the message and therefore wasn’t caught up in ramping up the processing power. Result: very full, very gassy, very uncomfortable every time right after he eats. Supposedly adults get this type of gastro-reflex as well, but we don’t get it until an hour after we eat, and we are just so used to it. But babies’ gastrointestinal system is much shorter, hence affect them much much quicker.

Poor Mommy and Daddy, we want the little guy to eat more and grow more, but we also start to fear every feeding time. Little guy gets so uncomfortable that he grunt and strain and wail and goes crazy! At times, he even turns purple! We tried to do tummy massage and leg pumps, but he gets so worked up and so rigid, can’t even do much! But of course, he always gets relief right after he poops or farts, but somehow the frequency is far and much less lately. Yikes.

After a few days, Mommy finally got very worried and called the doctor. We also tried Mylicon and probiotics. They helped but not completely. Doctor said unfortunately it happens around 4-6 weeks of age, and of course, the famous last words, “It will pass.” (“It” meaning the colic? Or poop and gas? I guess both.)

One day, Mommy and Daddy realized CC was quite loosey goosey and relaxed right before eating and in the morning. Therefore we decided to do the massage and pumps BEFORE he eats instead of after. Mommy also tried to hold CC very snugly to her body, so provide some resistance when CC tried to push and poop. Well, it worked!! We were able to loosen the “goods” before the little trunk gets too stuffed up with both waste and nutrients. Hooray!

Well, this is no professional procedures, but we hope this can help future new mommies and daddies! And we hope this will pass soon for little CC!

[7W1D] In between Mylicon, Florajen (probiotics), tummy massage, and leg pumping, colic seems to ease up a bit until yesterday. Today, CC was in full-blown colicky mode! Unable to sleep for more than 30 minutes for the entire day. Mommy was pooped out by the end of the day and ready to cry herself!

[8W4D] Maybe his stomach issues have gotten better, or maybe we’re just more used to it and know how to deal with it. Seems like he has gradually move out of that fussy colicky phase. Fingers crossed!

Nanny
[7W1D] We found our nanny! Grandma went back to Taiwan last Friday night, so started on Monday, I was all alone during the day and officially full-time Mom. It was scary. Very scary. We went on Golden Gate Mother’s Group to look for nanny, but there are only limited number. So while searching for average nanny wages, I came across this domestic help searching site, Care.com. We narrowed our choices down to a handful of people, and started contacting and interview them. As of today, we have decided on a nanny! :)

[8W4D] After one week of having Mara, our nanny come in on Monday and Wednesday. When the nanny is here and I’m not busy with house work, I situate myself upstairs and do some reading / web surfing. While I complain about baby prison, the irony is I am also extremely tormented when CC cries and I’m not one (or Woz is not the one) to go to him and comfort him! I know our nanny is more than well qualified in taking care of CC and in reality probably much better than I am, but like any mother, I don’t think anyone is good enough to take care of my son! Boy, I think I’ll probably cry on his first day to daycare/school! To think I almost did when Twilight went to puppy playcare last year! But, it’s got to be done. Little boy will have to grow up to be a man, and it’s a mother’s job to teach him how by letting go.

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It’s been a good month, it really has. The drama of pregnancy, birth, and family has quiet down but it is nonetheless quite eventful still. Now back to a little family of 4, we struggled and stayed afloat just so perfectly. Woz has, in the meanwhile, gotten a spanking new job at the Canadian consulate. The little Woz family is happy and getting ready for the holiday season.
Happy early Thanksgiving to everyone!