First Month as a Mom

Happy 1-month birthday to Baby CC!

Also, happy 1-month-versary to me as a Mom!

Now c-section incision healed (at least superficially), baby in hand/bassinet/crib…I won’t lie, this has been the quickest yet longest month of my life. Everything they said, it’s all true. Everything they didn’t say, it’s all true too. Never say never, was the only golden rule.



Breastfeeding

I have considered myself extremely lucky in this front, and even I thought it was/is tough. The fact that I had a c-section and stayed in the hospital for almost 3 extra days turned out to be a blessing. We were taught over and over by nurses and lactation consultant the correct and ideal ways to nurse CC. In addition, even though I went through c-section and spinal block, my milk actually came in pretty early and abundant. I did, however, like most new moms, suffered from a couple days of engorgement. It felt like someone placed a thousand tons of pressure on my chest! Hot compress prior to feeding and cold compress in between feedings were definitely very very helpful. Of course, CC helped too. :)



Postpartum Baby Blue

So I thought an optimistic  and extremely pragmatic person like me is for sure immune from the legendary postpartum baby blue, let along postpartum depression! Hell no! The power of the almighty hormone (or the lack of) is simply devilish! First of all, 3 days postpartum, I was, by chance, alone in the hospital room. The sense of loss overwhelmed me and I became all so sentimental, even Woz thought his wife was possessed! And then, every night I was plagued by the horrible night sweats! I was by no means feeling hot or even warm, but for the first part of the night, I always wake up soaked in my sweat! Then, it didn’t help that CC has a set of pipes he knows how to use well during diaper changes or any time he was unhappy about something “unspeakable”. There I was, soaked in sweat, just lied down 30 minutes ago, hand crippled by carpel tunnel syndrome, with a baby who is unable to tell me what’s wrong other than scream...Did I resent life? Oh I did. But then I wasn’t able to distinguish this resentment from the resentment of my new baby, so of course, I felt even more guilty towards having this feeling. Vicious cycle. Even though I have a very helpful and understanding husband, it wasn’t until a call from my sister-in-law and her gentle reassurance that this will all pass, did I feel much much better. And yes indeed, now at 1 month postpartum, the baby blue feeling came and gone. CC is now also more responsive and I’m a bit better in reading cues from him. Everything did get better. But postpartum baby blue / depression is definitely possible, and definitely nothing to be ashamed of.



Sleep

Or the lack of? Okay, to be honest, I do get sleep. Just no more than 2 hours at any given time. And never mind about sleeping in! Twi needs to go potty and CC hates the dark when he’s awake and want to play. Sigh…The price of procreation.



Family/Visitors

Oh it could be such a double-edged sword! On one hand, they’re able to take over some chores / care-taking tasks and give you a few moment of desperately needed sleep, on the other hand they can also give you way too many suggestions/advices! Grandpa from the sub-tropics thinks the baby is cold, while aunt from America-Jr thinks the baby is too warm. Hm…the baby is just fine?!

We banned all non-direct family visitors during the 5 days of hospital stay, and I have to say, it was the best decision ever! Woz, CC, and I were able to spend those precious time just by ourselves, with the help of the hospital nurses/doctors. The daily doctor making rounds also saved us the trips to pediatrician’s office.

Of course, now at one month, we’re still enforcing the ban of visitors, just for a few weeks more. I am now seriously bored out of my mind! But I’m sure allowing visitors probably will put some unnecessary pressure on me as well. Again, double-edged sword.



Whooping Cough

Okay, like I said, it’s been a month and yet we still haven’t accepted any visitor other than my parents and Woz’s aunt. Why? Mostly from the fear of whooping cough! Yes, lots of friends think us silly, but I can’t help but to think of the 9 infant death incidents in CA this year already! Our doctor actually encourages our practice of no visitor and no enclosed public area, but it is truly difficult to do. Wouldn’t it be so nice if everyone just get vaccinated!! Here’s a website that encourages such: http://www.helppreventwhoopingcough.com/



Burping

No one ever emphasize the importance of burping a baby. Even in the newborn parenting class, they said you need to burp the baby. But they also said, “some babies just won’t burp and they’re fine.” Well, take note, the “some babies” are not yours! Due to my CPS, I shied away from burping CC, and therefore really suck at it. BUT, if you don’t burp diligently during feeding, you’ll pay the price later! Especially when he’s suffering from his gas bubbles, screaming at the top of his lungs, puked up milk everywhere…all I feel is my BP going from the beautiful 106/69 to 150/100!



So Fast, Yet So Slow

Yes, this has to be the longest month in my life ever! However, the feedings we give to CC every two hours seem to come around so fast! We feed, burp, change him, and finally put him down to sleep. Ten minutes later, he’s whining for food again!



Weight Gain/Loss

Prior to delivery, my crazy weight gain (50lb) was concerning to lots of people. Concerns ranges from preeclampsia to gestational diabetes to over-sized/diabetic baby. “Luckily”, while CC was large (9lb 2.1oz at 38 weeks), he was also breeched. Leaving me with c-section as the only delivery option. The nurse at my doc’s office was always telling me to watch my diet, until the last visit where she saw my swollen feet and legs, and realized there was nothing I could do! Of course, I was quite fortunate too that the weight gain were indeed water weight, which came off fairly quickly. Here is my weight tracker:

• Pre-pregnancy weight – 133lb / 60.5kg (home scale)


• 9/21 – End of pregnancy 183lb / 83kg (doc’s scale)

Postpartum weight loss:

• 9/25 – Day 4 postpartum 160lb / 73kg (hospital scale) – Minus 23 lb


• 9/30 – 154lb / 70kg (home scale) – Minus 29 lb


• 10/1 – 152lb / 69kg (home scale) – Minus 31 lb


• 10/2 – 150lb / 68kg (home scale) – Minus 33 lb


• 10/4 – 145.5lb/ 66kg (home scale) – Minus 37.5 lb


• 10/7 – 147lb / 66.6kg (doc’s scale) – Minus 35 lb


• 10/9 – 141lb / 64kg (home scale) – Minus 42 lb


• 10/15 – 139lb / 63kg (PCP doc’s scale) – Minus 44 lb


• 10/18 – 134.5lb / 61kg (home scale) – Minus 48.5 lb

One very sad thing is, even though my weight is almost back to pre-pregnancy weight, my skin seem to be very dry and almost leathery. I guess this is what happens when your hormone drops so rapidly! Time to buy some moisturizing and tightening products!

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I’ll be very very brutally honest…all in all, it was a tough month. I sometimes even have thoughts and doubts on why we bother to procreate! I mean, wouldn’t life be just wonderful with just Twilight? See how much money we could’ve saved or at our disposal to travel or enjoy! But, then I remembered the same doubts I had when we first got Twi…And look how much we enjoy him now and can’t even imagine our lives without him!

Like what everyone told us, “Sooner or later, this too will end.”

Sighting of a Newborn Mom

Newborn Moms are hard to find in public; almost as hard to find as a sasquatch. However, here are some clues:

1. She travels with a man with a wedding band, but herself may not wear a band, especially not her solitaire diamond engagement ring.
2. She’s got super muscular arms (from carrying/rocking the baby) but chicken legs.
3. Her highlights has grown out but she neither has the time to re-do them nor has the guts because she’s still breastfeeding.
4. She ties her hair up or has already cut them all off.
5. Her nail polish has chipped but she has no time to take them all off.
6. She’s eager to talk to anyone who’s older than one AND not just interested in her tits as food source.
7. She is ecstatic to be roaming down the aisles of Safeway solo. 
8. She would graciously accept 3 minutes of free time to gulp down her McDonald’s filet o’fish, double cheese burger, fries, and diet coke.
9. She smells like soured protein shake.
10. She never wears turtleneck nor t-shirt. Instead, she’s drowning in her over-sized ugly maternity/nursing shirt that has an opening all the way down to her belly.

Life on 2.5 Hour

Pre-baby, while working, my life was divided into hours. 9am-10am, meeting for customer issue escalation, 10-11am, no meeting, 11-12pm,  customer meeting, etc. On the weekend though, it was a continuation of endless minutes, until Sunday night of course. Never really had to worry about being here doing that when, except maybe for the occasional “We got to be home by 6pm to walk Twilight.”
Post-baby, I live a life of 2.5-hour intervals. Want to go to the doctor’s and then the post office? Will have to fit it into a this 2.5 hour slot. Want to sneak out to supermarket to buy some diapers and ice cream? Will have to sneak back before the 2.5 hour is up. How did the 2.5 hrs come about? Here’s the calculation:
-- 30 min of feeding (15 min on each side)
-- 15 min of changing diaper and cuddling
-- 1 hr 45 min of actual sleeping done by the baby
=> Total: 2.5 hrs

Of course, this is assuming that the baby didn’t want his third helping, or he didn’t decide to poop/pee again 2 minutes after you changed him. And if he does, it just cuts into his sleep. Not good.

See, the fact that I need to feed “in public” (or rather, in our SUV while it’s not sitting in our garage) isn’t so bad. But the challenge comes when the little guy wakes up with a soiled diaper. He wails as if being tortured by Cruella DeVil! The set of lungs the little guy has, I’m telling you, it’s incredible how something so little can scream so loud!

So our policy is to be home before the 2.5 hour is up.

Life on 2.5 hour. Story of my 10-days post-baby life.

Welcome to Mommy-hood

Now that I’ve officially been a mom for 9 days, 11 hours, and 36 minutes, albeit short, I am now entitled to have my opinion, as a human mother, without being patronized and said, “Well, what do you know, you’re not even a mom!”

Prior to having CC (short for Colt Chicken), every time I compare having kids to having dogs, my mommy friends tend to give me the “Are you crazy in comparing my precious baby to your mutt” look. Well, I’ll tell you this much, raising our puppy actually very nicely prepared me to be a human mom! It made Woz and I came to conclusions on how we will raise our (human or canine) youngs very early on:

1. We value positive reinforcements over negative reprimands –  Growing up in a culture of “criticisms make you better”, I hear more negatively implied comments than positive compliments. It does nothing but to diminish my confidence. Luckily, I realized that fairly early on in my own life, and have learned I am actually better than I’m led to believe.
2. We believed in speaking in normal adult language, rather than baby talks – Even with Twilight, I talk to him a lot. No, it’s not as if it’ll help him develop his language skill and he can, one day, have an intelligent conversation with me, but I just feel stupid talking in the baby goo-goo-ga-ga talks. So with CC, while I still find myself talking repetitive sentences with him, I tend to use adult vocabulary and structure. He, will definitely have intelligent conversation with me one of these days.
3. We believed well-manners / disciplined youngsters are happy youngsters – Rule is a good thing. If they’re applied consistently across the board, to everyone, with positive reinforcements. The scariest part of having rules for children and pets are double-standards. “No, you can’t do that as a child but guess what, as your mommy, I am immune.” Bad, bad, Mommy!
4. We believed in being good role models – As a continuation to item #3, you should always stick to your own rule and be a good role model to your child/pet. They are great imitators and they do it fast!
5. We believed in well-established routines – Routines are good, because it manages everyone’s expectation. And when expectations are met, everyone’s happy. The first night we were home with CC, we woke up at every smallest sound he made in his sleep. Unfortunately for us, he is a noisy sleeper, and therefore we had a horrible night. In the next few nights, we decided to set the alarm clock to wake us up BEFORE his expected awake time. Well, he still makes a lot of noises, but we’ve learned to ignore those meaningless noises and sleep through the 1.5 hours we allowed ourselves. We woke up much refreshed and everyone’s happy.

Here are just a few immediate things in my “parenting philosophy” pocket. I’m sure this list will be much much longer in no time.

And yes, I know I have ONLY been a human mom for 9 days, 11 hours, and now 54 minutes, but please do not judge or patronize me by using the words “whatever works for you” (translation: You’re crazy. What do you know?! Just you wait…you’ll agree with me sooner than later. )

I am a Mom now too.

To Baby Woz – 38 Weeks (09/21/2010) – Happy Birthday!

Dearest Baobao,

Life, is full of unexpected. Our lives with you, certainly aren’t the exception.

You were scheduled to arrive on 9/28/2010, at 2pm. Even though it is still one week away, your PM Mommy has already assembled all the shelves, washed all your clothes, put together your cribs and swing, and pulled together the hospital bag. All we had to do was wait…

Original plan was, your grandparents will arrive on Thursday, they’ll spend a few days to get to know Twi-twi (so they can take care of Twi-twi while we are in hospital), and we’ll spend the last weekend get them settled in. Well, like your Grandpa Wozniak used to say, “If you want to make God  laugh, tell him your plans.” In this case, you were the one laughing…

On Monday, 9/20/2010, Daddy and I decided to take Twi-twi to the park to play some more, after Mommy got her manicure and pedicure done. Mommy however, didn’t get to squeeze her hair appointment in. :(

That afternoon, I was experiencing “the most regular ever” Braxton-Hicks ever. They wsere still by no means regular, came every 7, 10, 9, 11, whatever minutes, but they were the most regular ever! One after another, each lasting not as long as the ones I’ve experienced before. They didn’t hurt though…just make my stomach super tight. So during the playtime for Twi-twi, Mommy was sitting down mostly, to minimize the soreness due to stomach tightening.

When we got back to the garage, Mommy suddenly felt some wetness on her panties. It felt different from the mucus plug I’ve been feeling for the last few days. But nonetheless, it wasn’t so obvious or continuous, and therefore we just did our usuals. We ate dinner (chicken katsu and deep fried oysters for Mommy, sushi rolls for Daddy), played fetch with Twi-twi, watched some TV, specifically, the season premiere of Hawaii Five-O, and then went to bed around 11.

At close to 1am the next morning, I was jolted awake by a popping feeling, and then the total wetness from shoulder to knees! I was literally soaked in water and it kept on coming!! I called out for your Dad and told him I think my water just broke!! He jumped up from bed, asked me, “What should we do?” Well, we decided that he would get me a towel so I can safely go sit on the toilet, while he calls the triage nurse at our OB office. While sitting on the toilet, the water just kept trickling out! Later while Daddy was getting ready and tried to clean up a bit, Mommy decided to take a quick shower, the smartest choice.  At this point, I have started experiencing painful contractions. They felt like period cramps but much much worse.

Twi-twi was still sound asleep amongst these commotion, until we were about to head out the door. He looked extremely puzzled and yet still very obediently stayed home.

On the drive to the hospital, Mommy continues to experience more painful contractions.

Once we got to the hospital, we went in through the emergency door and went to the OB check-in (thank goodness for hospital tour!) Nurse Lauren quickly hooked me up to the heartbeat and contraction monitors, as well as stick an IV into Mommy. While the contraction kept coming, now we could see when and how long. After30 more minutes, nice doctor ordered meds to slow down the contraction, since we are in for a c-section anyways. It did take away the contraction entirely, but Mommy started to shiver uncontrollably. My teeth were chattering so much it was very funny.

Some time between 2-230am, Mommy was wheeled up to the OR for preparation, while Daddy waited outside. I don’t know after how long, but the anesthesiologist came, gave me a shot of topical numbing agent (which hurt a little, more or less like novocaine in dentist’s office), and followed by the actual spinal block, which followed by extreme numbness of the waist down.  It’s a super super strange feeling. I could feel people touching my legs, but I was unable to move them at all!!

I started to feel nauseous, so the anesthesiologist gave me something to stop it, which in turn made my chest felt super heavy. Once oxygen was hooked up on me, I felt much better. Well, except the continuous shivering (while I was not cold at all), which interestingly acted as a calming affect for me.

Around 3am, Doctor Fan (OB) arrived. I remembered joking with  them about the 49ers vs. Saints game which happened earlier that night, and anesthesiologist said he was unfortunately too busy to watch it. They also finally asked Dad to come in as well. They put up the blue screen, which blocked me from seeing everyone else except the anesthesiologist and your Dad. I could hear people started to get busy, they talked in such low volume I can’t hear much. At one point someone told me I’ll feel pressure while they push it out, which I did, and then Dr. Fan said, “Wow, he’s got a big head!” followed by your cute little cries!!

Although I didn’t cry, I was very touched. Life really has begun, just like that. And of course I was extremely extremely relieved that you came out well (as well as I know at that point). I asked Daddy to go with you instead of staying in the OR with Mommy. They quickly sew me up, or rather, stapled me up, since I heard the staple gun went off, and wheeled me out of the OR and into the recovery room. Nurse Lauren was very sweet, talked to me the whole time while she was doing charts, and even Dr. Fan came in and chatted. Turned out he is from Taiwan also! At this point, I started to itch on my face, and it quick spread to everywhere. Apparently I was allergic to the pain meds and the only way around it was to wait for it to wear off after 24 hours.

I don’t know after how long, they finally brought you and your Dad to me in the recovery room. We then all went to our little room, 261.

Mommy learned to nurse in that first day, and very quickly, we just fell in love with you. Our little family is now party of 4!!

Happy Birthday, CC!

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Mommy Updates

• CC was born on 09/21/2010, at 329am. 9 lbs 2.1 oz (4143 grams), 19.5 inches.


• He was exactly 38 weeks in gestation term.


• Nicknames: Colt Chicken

Pregnancy Myth Buster!

Now that I’m more than half-way through my pregnancy, I’ve heard (and got annoyed) at many many “advices”, either given to me or given to friends of mine. Unfortunately, they are, a lot of times, myth.

1. You can eat whatever you want!!
   Yah right!!! Did no one tell you you now have to give up the yummy chu toro and foie gras?! How about only eating 300 calories more per day? That’s about 2 cookies’ worth! Honestly, I never had to worry about what I eat before, but now I’m the most health conscious in my life!
2. You shouldn’t exercise I don’t know why people say that. Every doctor or medical literature state the opposite. Even my own Mom told me it’s best to exercise to have smooth delivery! This by no means says you’ll have to go cardio kick-boxing or sky diving, but definitely keep your body moving!
3. Because you’re pregnant, you should wear a sac or PJs I have lately taken up sewing. Started with small 2-dimensional projects and slowly now venturing into 3-D items such as bags and aprons. Lately, I’m feeling even more adventurous and want to try out a maternity clothes. The only problem is I’m not that experienced in clothes making, so I decided to go to Jo-Ann’s and buy a pattern. Turned out, maternity clothes have always been lumped with “sleepwear” and often just look like a sac. Seriously? Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I’m fat nor I should wear sweats! Yes I admit I lately I’ve been wearing more dresses or yoga pants rather than slick jeans, but I still try to look decent! I ended up buy plus-size patterns and probably will have to learn on my own how to take in the sleeves and shoulder width.
4. “You’ll love being pregnant” I feel blessed. Very blessed in fact to be pregnant, let along have a fairly easy pregnancy. However, this is not a trip to the ice cream store. And I bet no one ever mention all the side-effects of pregnancy other than nausea (nose-bleed, leg cramps, stomach muscle/ligament cramp, sore back, shortness of breath, stuffy nose, acid reflux, pee when you sneeze/cough….the list can go on and on!) This is not to say there are about ten-thousand other things you would usually do that you are not allowed to do now. I don’t know who in their right mind would love to go through 40 weeks of discomfort. Think it’s just propaganda to brainwash women to want to have kids.

These are all I can think of now. I’ll post more when I remember them.

TWP (Travel While Pregnant)

I have travelled to Taiwan while 5 weeks pregnant. Could hardly tell, even by myself. So that, didn’t count. Now at 5 months, here are a few things I learned about traveling while (really, very obviously) pregnant:

1. You are just physically not as able in lifting heavy luggage. But hey, your luggage are never heavy anymore (until baby’s here of course) since now there are only about 10% of the things that you used to bring actually fits you!  :) and :(
2. People hate traveling on flights with infants and toddlers, but they LOVE to see semi-clumsy pregnant lady! Regardless who it is, the second they realized/heard you are pregnant, always become the best people on earth! Friendly, cordial, anything for you! :) 
3. Your husband milks the benefits you get by telling everyone you’re pregnant, even the front desk lady who can’t see anything below your neck. Or maybe he is just so over-joyed and feel the need to tell everyone you encountered? :)
4. If you are in a beach town or resort, you are jealous of any female in bikini (yes, including little girls), and think, “I was like that (and much better) few months ago!” and then waddle away. :(
5. Good luck trying to sun tan your back! Unless you get one of those reversed massage chair with a hole cut out where you tummy is, it’s next to impossible to lie flat on your tummy, literally. :(
6. Nose bleed, nose bleed, nose bleed! The super drying air on flight does not do you any good when you already have thinned nasal membrane. My nose was gushing blood at the bar yesterday like a cocaine addict (from the movies at least) it was embarrassing! Had to quickly explain it is a side-effect of pregnancy but bartender (being a man) still couldn’t make the connection and looked extremely worried and puzzled (of course it may be because I was bleeding all over the photo album he decided to share with me.)  :(
7. You constantly startling whoever’s next to you by yelling to your husband, “Quick! Feel this! He’s moving again!” And you both so focused on the one stomach (and publicly touching it) that you completely didn’t notice the strange stares you’re receiving.  :)
8. Now that you have the love of your life baking in you, you become much more self-centered (self=baby, not you). At the same time, nothing else matters because they are all dwarf’d by the discomfort you are in physically and happiness you’re feeling mentally. :)
9. Tummy doubles as book stand! (Like!) :)
10. Traveling to islands are torture when you cannot eat anything fresh (aka raw) from the sea. :(
11. Allow yourself 10 extra min per 30 min drive for potty breaks, especially if you have been trying to hydrate yourself in the hot climate! :(