Also, happy 1-month-versary to me as a Mom!
Now c-section incision healed (at least superficially), baby in hand/bassinet/crib…I won’t lie, this has been the quickest yet longest month of my life. Everything they said, it’s all true. Everything they didn’t say, it’s all true too. Never say never, was the only golden rule.
Breastfeeding
I have considered myself extremely lucky in this front, and even I thought it was/is tough. The fact that I had a c-section and stayed in the hospital for almost 3 extra days turned out to be a blessing. We were taught over and over by nurses and lactation consultant the correct and ideal ways to nurse CC. In addition, even though I went through c-section and spinal block, my milk actually came in pretty early and abundant. I did, however, like most new moms, suffered from a couple days of engorgement. It felt like someone placed a thousand tons of pressure on my chest! Hot compress prior to feeding and cold compress in between feedings were definitely very very helpful. Of course, CC helped too. :)
Postpartum Baby Blue
So I thought an optimistic and extremely pragmatic person like me is for sure immune from the legendary postpartum baby blue, let along postpartum depression! Hell no! The power of the almighty hormone (or the lack of) is simply devilish! First of all, 3 days postpartum, I was, by chance, alone in the hospital room. The sense of loss overwhelmed me and I became all so sentimental, even Woz thought his wife was possessed! And then, every night I was plagued by the horrible night sweats! I was by no means feeling hot or even warm, but for the first part of the night, I always wake up soaked in my sweat! Then, it didn’t help that CC has a set of pipes he knows how to use well during diaper changes or any time he was unhappy about something “unspeakable”. There I was, soaked in sweat, just lied down 30 minutes ago, hand crippled by carpel tunnel syndrome, with a baby who is unable to tell me what’s wrong other than scream...Did I resent life? Oh I did. But then I wasn’t able to distinguish this resentment from the resentment of my new baby, so of course, I felt even more guilty towards having this feeling. Vicious cycle. Even though I have a very helpful and understanding husband, it wasn’t until a call from my sister-in-law and her gentle reassurance that this will all pass, did I feel much much better. And yes indeed, now at 1 month postpartum, the baby blue feeling came and gone. CC is now also more responsive and I’m a bit better in reading cues from him. Everything did get better. But postpartum baby blue / depression is definitely possible, and definitely nothing to be ashamed of.
Sleep
Or the lack of? Okay, to be honest, I do get sleep. Just no more than 2 hours at any given time. And never mind about sleeping in! Twi needs to go potty and CC hates the dark when he’s awake and want to play. Sigh…The price of procreation.
Family/Visitors
Oh it could be such a double-edged sword! On one hand, they’re able to take over some chores / care-taking tasks and give you a few moment of desperately needed sleep, on the other hand they can also give you way too many suggestions/advices! Grandpa from the sub-tropics thinks the baby is cold, while aunt from America-Jr thinks the baby is too warm. Hm…the baby is just fine?!
We banned all non-direct family visitors during the 5 days of hospital stay, and I have to say, it was the best decision ever! Woz, CC, and I were able to spend those precious time just by ourselves, with the help of the hospital nurses/doctors. The daily doctor making rounds also saved us the trips to pediatrician’s office.
Of course, now at one month, we’re still enforcing the ban of visitors, just for a few weeks more. I am now seriously bored out of my mind! But I’m sure allowing visitors probably will put some unnecessary pressure on me as well. Again, double-edged sword.
Whooping Cough
Okay, like I said, it’s been a month and yet we still haven’t accepted any visitor other than my parents and Woz’s aunt. Why? Mostly from the fear of whooping cough! Yes, lots of friends think us silly, but I can’t help but to think of the 9 infant death incidents in CA this year already! Our doctor actually encourages our practice of no visitor and no enclosed public area, but it is truly difficult to do. Wouldn’t it be so nice if everyone just get vaccinated!! Here’s a website that encourages such: http://www.helppreventwhoopingcough.com/
Burping
No one ever emphasize the importance of burping a baby. Even in the newborn parenting class, they said you need to burp the baby. But they also said, “some babies just won’t burp and they’re fine.” Well, take note, the “some babies” are not yours! Due to my CPS, I shied away from burping CC, and therefore really suck at it. BUT, if you don’t burp diligently during feeding, you’ll pay the price later! Especially when he’s suffering from his gas bubbles, screaming at the top of his lungs, puked up milk everywhere…all I feel is my BP going from the beautiful 106/69 to 150/100!
So Fast, Yet So Slow
Yes, this has to be the longest month in my life ever! However, the feedings we give to CC every two hours seem to come around so fast! We feed, burp, change him, and finally put him down to sleep. Ten minutes later, he’s whining for food again!
Weight Gain/Loss
Prior to delivery, my crazy weight gain (50lb) was concerning to lots of people. Concerns ranges from preeclampsia to gestational diabetes to over-sized/diabetic baby. “Luckily”, while CC was large (9lb 2.1oz at 38 weeks), he was also breeched. Leaving me with c-section as the only delivery option. The nurse at my doc’s office was always telling me to watch my diet, until the last visit where she saw my swollen feet and legs, and realized there was nothing I could do! Of course, I was quite fortunate too that the weight gain were indeed water weight, which came off fairly quickly. Here is my weight tracker:
- Pre-pregnancy weight – 133lb / 60.5kg (home scale)
- 9/21 – End of pregnancy 183lb / 83kg (doc’s scale)
Postpartum weight loss:
- 9/25 – Day 4 postpartum 160lb / 73kg (hospital scale) – Minus 23 lb
- 9/30 – 154lb / 70kg (home scale) – Minus 29 lb
- 10/1 – 152lb / 69kg (home scale) – Minus 31 lb
- 10/2 – 150lb / 68kg (home scale) – Minus 33 lb
- 10/4 – 145.5lb/ 66kg (home scale) – Minus 37.5 lb
- 10/7 – 147lb / 66.6kg (doc’s scale) – Minus 35 lb
- 10/9 – 141lb / 64kg (home scale) – Minus 42 lb
- 10/15 – 139lb / 63kg (PCP doc’s scale) – Minus 44 lb
- 10/18 – 134.5lb / 61kg (home scale) – Minus 48.5 lb
One very sad thing is, even though my weight is almost back to pre-pregnancy weight, my skin seem to be very dry and almost leathery. I guess this is what happens when your hormone drops so rapidly! Time to buy some moisturizing and tightening products!
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I’ll be very very brutally honest…all in all, it was a tough month. I sometimes even have thoughts and doubts on why we bother to procreate! I mean, wouldn’t life be just wonderful with just Twilight? See how much money we could’ve saved or at our disposal to travel or enjoy! But, then I remembered the same doubts I had when we first got Twi…And look how much we enjoy him now and can’t even imagine our lives without him!
Like what everyone told us, “Sooner or later, this too will end.”
