Bullies and a Mother's Wish

School teacher told me today, that Little Guy can knock his opponents out now during a "fight".

I do not tolerate violence. But I also believe standing up for oneself and defending oneself against violence, especially being smallest in age/size in this world of bullies.

Our parents and teacher used to just tell us, the act of violence is just wrong, period. But what about the cause for such violence? What about self-defense? I feel that the key is to teach Little Guy that it is okay to protect himself, but he should NEVER become a bully.

His parents are both sensible and pragmatic people who can hold opinions of their own and not care much about what others think of ourselves. At the same time, we are also sensitive towards other people's needs and know right from wrong.

I don't wish for Ivy League or fancy title in Little Guy's future, but I do hope he grows to be a man with right set of values.

And of course, eats well, sleeps well, healthy, and happy. (Very tall order!)

About Yummies

In the first 4 months of Little Guy's life, he practically was exclusively breast fed. We started trying the bottles at 3 weeks and it was too late. Not only was he immuned to nipple confusion, but he was also way too crystal clear about what his preference was. So when I had to go back to work at 4 months post-partum, we've tried practically every thing there is to try with the bottles. Often times I ended up singing this endless song that goes something like, "Incoming yummies, incoming yummies, incoming yummies, incoming yummies..." Trust me, the tune is way more interesting than the lyrics. 

So till this day, he still calls his milk bottle "yummies". Or more accurately, "mummus." 

So when it comes to food, we often use words other than "yummies". But they are all yummy! Since he was old enough to try solids, we didn't use rice cereal for long at all. For a foodie like myself, I even went as far as making my own baby food. I can count the jars/packs of pre-packed baby food he's ever consumed in two hands. And most of them are during this one road trip up to Canada. 

And when I make our own baby food, I never added much salt or sugar. But I've always been adventurous when it comes to spices. Spinach oatmeal puree with a hint of cilatnro, basil, and garlic; sweet potato and carrots puree with a sprinkle of cinnamon; chicken soup mush cooked with bay leaves, rubbed sage, and dash of black pepper. Seeing how liberal we used our spices, our nanny started to make him grilled cheese sandwich with dijon mustard! 

However, when he turned one, we've gone through this puzzling change and now back to the original Little Guy. Soon after he turned one, we started to give him soy milk which really went well with his digestive system. Unfortunately with the uncertainty about soy estrogen, we quickly had to switch over to cow's milk. And nothing against cow's milk, but it seems to give him way more constipation than ever! He is also doing quite a lot of vomiting whenever something gags him slightly. More troubling, when he does vomit, food he ate 12 hours ago come back up! How is that possible? Does he have delayed digestion? At the same time, my Little Guy who used to eat anything is refusing practically any solid food and would only drink milk! That worried us and therefore we sought professional help. Upon talking to us for 10 minutes and looked through his chart, the doctor immediately told us his slowed digestion is probably due to his constipation; when the pipe is not clear, nothing goes through! First thing to do is to cut his milk down by at least half. Second thing is to start offering him the food he seemed to resist. 

The result is a little guy who loves marsala tiki chicken over chicken nuggets and turkey chili with a hint of dark chocolate over mac-n-cheese! We got our lovely little eater back! He loves food! Real life adult food too! 

In this world where everyone gives you different ways to raise a child, (where one theory said don't give fish and some hyper-allergenic food until after 1 yo, the other theory said the earlier you give those food, the less he'll have allergies to them when he grows up), I am definitely glad I listened to the latter and stayed adventurous with food. 

After all, what's better than the world of yummies!

Working Mom vs. Working Dad

Recently I interviewed someone for a position at work. Towards the end of a reasonably pleasant interview with ten minutes to spare, I started to chit-chat with him. Do you live around here? How do you like business school? Do you have any kids?

A 40-days old was his answer.

I told him he is crazier than I, who interviewed when Little Guy was just 3 months old and I was still on maternity leave. When he offered the information that his wife doesn't work and both sets of grand parents take turn to come help with child care, I casually made a comment that, "Yah, it's generally easier for working dad than for working mom."

He wanted to argue but smartly backed down.

It puzzles me why he even saw the need to argue. It is much harder on working moms than working dads, PERIOD!

I would never think about comparing working moms and stay-at-home-moms, because I think it often times comes down to reality and personal preference. And regardless which one was the cause, both jobs are extremely taxing. At the same time, I would never think about comparing working moms and working dads either...because there is no comparison could be made!

Do working dads need haul an extra bag of pumping contraption daily to work, and try to schedule at few a couple pumping sessions between meetings? And if not, you may need to be stuck with rock-hard breasts that may start to leak through to your dress shirts? Do working dads need to try to explain to TSA when going through airport security that those frozen bags are indeed breast milk? Do working dads need to make sure they eat constantly so they don't feel like fainting from literally being sucked dry by your offsprings? And it's not just about the breast feeding aspect of things. I heard plenty of working dads able to travel on "necessary" business trips weeks or even days after baby were born. I think I can count a handful of working moms who are able to do so. Yet working moms are expected to perform just the same as working dads.

On top of that, as much as the society wants to demonstrate gender equality, daycares seem to contact moms first prior to dads.

Bottom line is, moms are just super women!