Baby Must-have’s, Nice-to-have’s, and Shouldn’t-have’s (Part 3)

(Last part, and it doesn’t seem like I don’t have any “shouldn’t have” yet…)

Baby swing / bouncer
CC is very different from most babies. He hates the baby swing. We ended up have to return our faulty Fisher-Price Zen Collection swing and got a bouncer. At 3 months, he sometimes like the bouncer, so that’s not exactly that worth the money either.


Verdict: It may work with other baby, but not really necessary with CC.


Baby carrier
We got two Ergo carriers from friends. They do feel quite comfortable when we use them. But, we don’t really go out that much like most parents either, and when we do, at almost 14lb now, we hardly ever wear CC. I have to say though, the few times I do wear him to go to restaurants, it does keep  him calm and warm.

Verdict: Depends on how much you think you’ll wear your baby. I say it’s a nice-to-have.

Music mobile and play gym
At 3 months, we still haven’t really used the music mobile we got for CC. At first it was because it’s in the way when we try to put him down in bed, and he doesn’t seem to be interested at all. Now we just sort of forgot about it. But he does start to take an interest in things hanging from above him now. We received a play gym and he absolutely loves it! We just put the play gym on the livingroom floor, and he can amuse himself for almost 30 minutes!

Verdict: Must have if you think you’ll spend a lot of time on the floor with your newborn. Otherwise, wait until the third month.

Swaddles
Yes, YOU SHALL ALWAYS SWADDLE. Don’t worry if they put up a fight while you are trying to swaddle them. Don’t worry if they look like little dolls in strait jackets. Don’t worry if they still fuss after swaddled. The truth is, they all love it! We learned from the Happiest Baby on the Block about the concept of 4th trimester and we are firm believers of that. So for a while (and still does), we try to create an environment as similar to the womb for CC as possible. Including tightly snuggled in swaddle. It’s magical, but sometimes he somehow get his arm(s) out and that’s when he wakes himself from his sleep! Not kidding.

So back to the swaddles themselves. We tried a few types. There is the square blanket the hospital used and taught you to use; there is the Miracle Blanket, there is the velcro Kiddopotamus, and there is the Halo Sleepsack Swaddle.

The hospital square blanket is great simply because you want to teach yourself to learn how to use it, in case that is all you have at hand. Also, since it’s just a piece of cloth, it’s easier to adjust to different baby sizes by folding them. Much more economical. But let’s be honest, who wants to be doing the left-in-left-up-right-tug at three in the morning, when they told you  to “keep the lights low so baby won’t think it’s daytime!” Nobody that’s who. So there are the other ready made alternatives.

We were given two Miracle Blankets and have heard people swear by them. They are great because it has additional internal flaps to secure the baby’s arms. However, after securing their arms, you need to wrap the outer flap around the baby twice! Between keeping his arms tugged and lifting him and wrapping him, it’s usually a 2-person task. It does keep their arms in nicely better than the other two, although I have learned a trick on solving that problem too, with the other two options.


So next, the Kiddopotamus. Instead of two internal arm flaps and one outer large flap, you get two flaps that has velcro on them. Simply wrap and velcro, and you’re done! Wonder wonder for night time. Also, it comes in micro-fleece, so it’s great for winter babies. One problem is if you have a Houdini baby who always manages to get his arms out, it’s not as ideal. BUT, I did notice that when you dress them in long sleeves, due to the friction between his clothes and the swaddle, it’s harder for them to get their arms out. Do remember to buy the correct size though. And yes, like any baby clothing, they outgrow them pretty fast.


Last, Halo Sleepsack Swaddle. I don’t know why I never knew of this before. It’s a sleep sack that has a velcro-on flap for the arms only! So when baby is awake, you can keep him in the sleep sack and not have to worry about his feet gets cold. When it’s time for sleep, just put on the velcro arm swaddle flap and you’re ready! The center zipper zips from the top down, so you can open from the bottom and change the baby without even taking them out of the swaddle! Halo’s swaddle part has very large areas for velcro, so it’s more forgiving for baby growth and easier for parents. 

Verdict: Swaddle is a must. I would go for Kiddopotamus or Halo though. And yes, get them before baby arrives and learn to use them.

Bath essentials  and grooming kit
Well, yes and no. At 3 months, we have only used the all-purpose J&J bathing gel with CC. Didn’t even open the shampoo or diaper powder or anything else. We did have to use the baby oil and brush/comb to get his cradle cap out. We now bath CC every night, but only 2-3 times a week do we use bath gel.

As for grooming kit, they need it. Especially nail filer, nail cutter, and brush/comb. Of course, if you have one that has slow growth in nails or have no hair, then don’t worry about it.
Verdict: It’s not something you need to get before baby or even immediately after. Even if you need it, you can always get them at any grocery store, Target, or Amazon.

Parenting books
Yes you can pretty much find everything from the Internet. But with a baby in tow, you can’t possibly always have time or hands to go online. I happen to have Kindle which allows me to read my books on my iPhone. So I bought a few parenting books. In all honesty, they don’t say much other than common sense. But as first-time parents, our parenting common sense just isn’t enough, or we just fear so. Here are a few books I’ve bought. Oh, I would suggest buying them and reading them at least once PRIOR to the baby. Because it’s hard to read when you are sleep deprived. :) You can always reference back later.

Also, please also note I am NOT a supporter of Cry-It-Out method and therefore my opinion on parenting books is very subjective.

• The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer, by Dr Harvey Karp – I tend to like this book the most. It preaches the concept of “4th trimester”, which makes a lot of sense to me. And we have used many of his techniques with our fussy CC and they all worked! One very key point is, you have to recognize sometimes it takes more than one techniques, more than 10-15 minutes with those techniques, to change a baby’s state of fussiness. In short, be patient. Note, this also comes in DVD, which many sleep-deprived parents prefer.
• Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child , by Dr. Marc Weissbluth – This book come highly recommended by our pediatrician, but boy was it difficult to read. I felt like I’m reading JAMA rather than a parenting book! Lots of statistics and experimental details, which I feel parents could be spared of. It puts me to sleep before it puts the baby to sleep! (Maybe I should read this to CC then?!) One key take-away is, have a routine for your baby, but NEVER let your baby/toddler be awake for more than two hours at any given time. I’ve stick to that and sometimes if we get close to or go slightly beyond two hours, we do find CC gets very drowsy and even over-tired and fussy. I wouldn’t recommend buying this unless you are into doing heavy research.
• The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, by Elilzabeth Pantley – It’s a book I think would be better bought in paperback rather than e-book format. Simply because its formatting and style. As for content, I do like her gentle approach of sleep training. No, I don’t believe babies younger than 3 months old (that’s CC’s current age and I can only speak to this based on my current experience) can be manipulative. I also believe when they are old enough to be manipulative, they are old enough to be reasoned with. And therefore, I don’t believe young babies should be left to cry. For one, I don’t have the heart to leave my CC to cry so I get a few more minutes of shut-eye every night. To quote Pantley, "The irrefutable truth is that we cannot change a comfortable, loving-to-sleep (but waking-up-all-night) history to a go-to-sleep-and-stay-asleep-on-your-own routine without one of two things: crying or time. Personally, I choose time."
• What Babies Say Before They Can Talk, by Dr. Paul Holinger and Kalia  Doner – I bought this book but just haven’t had the chance to really start it. Can’t comment on it yet but I think it’s an interesting read.

Verdict: It’s not a matter of must-have or not, it’s a matter of peace of mind for first-time parents. Therefore, just get them!


Baking soda (yes, baking soda)
Oh what a cheap smell-saver! We buy a small box of Arm and Hammer baking soda (don’t make a mistake and buy baking powder!!) and keep it by the diaper pail/changing table. We sprinkle some into the diaper pail at times and it totally keeps the smell from coming out!

Verdict: Must have for your nose sanity

Baby Must-have’s, Nice-to-have’s, and Shouldn’t-have’s (Part 2)

Part 2 is all about the yummies! I will finish up the rest in Part 3.

Nursing pads
I went through a few nursing pads, and honestly still can’t decide on which one(s) works the best. But again, if you are breastfeeding, you’ll need them. Especially if you have over supply like I do!
Here are the three types I’ve tried:

Lansinoh Ultra Soft Disposable Nursing Pad – This is great for travel because it’s individually packed and fairly thin, and it also has adhesive in the back to secure on your bra. But I am small-chested and I find it too large and therefore shifts around in my bra! Also, when it gets wet, the absorbing gel inside tend to leak out. Yuck! I did not purchase a second box.

Johnson’s – Great in size and has back adhesive. However, a bit thick. Great if your clothes or nursing bra is very sheer though.

The First Year – Lanolin Disposable – These pads are great if you have sensitive nipples. It already has lanolin at the center, so it’s soft and easy on your nipples. The size and thickness are also perfect for someone like me. One major drawback is it does not have back adhesive, so they do move around.

Verdict: Must have if you breastfeed. Which brand you prefer is just a personal choice.

Nursing cover
If you plan to breast feeding, you MUST have nursing cover. Bebe au lait is the common brand people go for, since it covers and have a semi-circle wire that allows you to look down at your baby. However, give we have a winter baby, I find it a bit too thin and expensive. So I made my own nursing cover.

Basically just a double-layered rectangular cloth, with semi-circle wire, and a strap to hook over your neck. Even if you don’t go out all that much, if you have visitors at home, this is still a life-saver. And it keeps you nice and warm! :) It very often doubles as CC’s traveling blanket or rain cover also!

Verdict: Must have, if you’re breastfeeding and nursing in person.

Breastfeeding pillow
I used to think it’s absolutely necessary to have nursing pillow. And maybe it is to some mothers. But other than the first month, and even then, I hardly use the nursing pillow. Because it’s not thick enough to rest completely on my lap, so I either have to slouch, or stuff a real pillow under the nursing pillow.

Half the time I look like a toddler with my donut going to the pool; it’s even more ridiculous when baby starts to puke and you run around with the nursing pillow on your waist trying to get towel.

And sometimes I’m downstairs while the nursing pillow is upstairs. I have the baby and now I have to try to put the nursing pillow on, stuff another pillow under it, while holding the baby. Too much work!
Yes, it does put some strain on my wrist/arm without it, but with some practice it’s not so bad at all.

I do have to say a disclaimer though. I have only used “My Breast Friend” nursing pillow, which has a buckle. I’m not sure if Boppy’s nursing pillow would be better.


Bottle warmer
Regardless how you feed, you’ll need this. We’ve got ours from Avent and honestly don’t like it so much. The light flickers on and off while it warms or turn off to keep the water constant. However, it does not keep the content being warmed at constant temperature, neither does it turns itself off when it boils dry (or I dare not try). So we always have to stand by it to watch. I have heard First Year’s is better, since it tells you how much water to put in, and when the water boils dry it turns off and the bottle/food is ready. But since we already have the Avent warmer and we don’t even bottle feed that much, we continue to stand by the warmer and wait…

Verdict: It’s a must have, starting around birth if you formula feed, 3 weeks if you breastfeed. But I’m not sure the one we have is the best choice.


Bottle drying rack
I guess you can dry the bottle on any drying rack. But it does get out of hand at times, if you are cleaning multiple bottles. So we bought the Boon Grass Coutertop Drying Rack and use it only for CC’s everything. It’s quite decorative and works with things from bottle to nipples to medicine syringe.

Verdict: Not a must have, since you can be creative and do without. But a nice-to-have.


Pacifier
Oh we tried so many and CC seems to only take the one we tried first, the Wubbanub Infant Plush Toy Pacifier. Yah, it’s ridiculous expensive for a pacifier but it’s ridiculously cute when he’s sucking on it! Also makes it easy for us to fish it out of diaper bag or purse. I guess CC likes it because the nipple shape is similar to those of his bottles. Not that he likes either one all that much, but when he’s fussy in the carseat and car is moving, I can sometimes calm him temporarily using this soothie.

We have also bought a few more, but I don’t quite remember the names and he dislike them anyhow. They are, however, much cheaper than this.

Verdict: Not a must have. CC likes his little knuckle more than any soothie.

When You Think You Can’t Do It Anymore…

Yes, I am still talking about parenthood. The sad brutal reality is, it is the one thing in this world that there is just no (easy) way out.

At three months old, CC again resist the bottle. Not sure what we are doing wrong, but “dislike” is an understatement. With his first day at daycare looming in exactly one month away, I find myself losing the already very little sleep over it, yet again.

In addition, we are hearing left and right how easy so-and-so’s baby is/was to raise. It makes me wonder, “What are we doing wrong?”

Again, losing even more of the little sleep I get. (And I swear, I was never a worry-wart!)

I shared my worries with our nanny. I also was very honest about our choice of daycare and not her is simply due to cost. Her replies comforted me greatly; and if I ever were religious like she, I would say she is a God-sent.

She told me if daycare doesn’t work out, she could also do sharecare for us and some other family to reduce the cost. In addition, her sharecare price has practically no increase to if she were to care for CC alone! I asked her why so low in price, “I just want to help.” was her simple reply.

So when you think you just can’t do it anymore, you should consider yourself lucky to have others opening doors and windows for you.

Merry Christmas.

Third Month as a Mom

Happy 3-Month Birthday to CC! 

Battle of the Bottles
[9W] Boy, is it ever hard! No, not breastfeeding, that was a piece of cake for us. Bottle-feeding was absolutely difficult for us. Who said they’ll have nipple confusion? He is definitely not confused at all! We’ve started trying since he was barely 4 weeks old and following instructions (once or twice a week). He resists at times and takes it at others, but this past week  has just been a pure act of defiance! The second the silicon nipple touches his lips, he makes it abundantly clear that’s not what he’s looking for. Finally, Mommy gave up and decided to go out while the nanny works with CC to take the bottle. And there is ends, the battle of the bottles…at least for CC and nanny Mara, and sometimes Dad. With Mommy, CC still wants the fresh stuff!

[3M] CC was taking the bottle awhile ago, but at 3 months, he’s rejecting it again. Tonight, Dad suddenly feels maybe the flow is just too slow and that’s why he gets frustrated. So we tried the Size 2 nipple from LifeFactory. And he finished within minutes! Amazing. It sort of makes sense, since my letdown is always faster than average women. Babies are suppose to like using bottle nipples over Mom’s because it’s easier and less work for them, but if it’s more work, they would definitely get frustrated! Well, we will try again tomorrow with Mara. Hopefully that solves the battle of bottles!

Breastfeeding and Mastitis
[10W] Again breastfeeding itself is not hard at all. I never gotten plugged ducts nor mastitis when I was purely just nursing CC. But the minute we introduced the bottle (and therefore started pumping), all hell broke loose. Because there is no screaming demanding baby to feed, I forgot and therefore skipped a feeding/pumping. I started to get engorged while out and have no way to drain. Then plugged milk ducts. Then, the ultimate mastitis. Oh the pain of full boobs that can’t be relieved!!
And so I went on antibiotics Keflex. As a result, my body reacted to the antibiotics with 5 days of diarrhea. Okay, 5 days of diarrhea by myself is barely tolerable, 5 days of diarrhea with baby is just impossible! Not cool.

I finally recovered from the upset stomach, and then plugged ducts came back few times. Sigh, you just can’t win!



Holidays
[11W] Don’t get me wrong, I love the holiday season! But it is also the hardest time for baby who is trying to establish his routine, and the baby’s mom. With all the parties and celebration, we tend to forget that the baby may be over-stimulated, or simply unable to stick to his own schedule or to sleep!
So it starts. Feeding and burping is rushed because we needed to get to a party on time. Medication is skipped because we forgot. Sleep is segmented because we couldn’t keep our voices down.

At the end of the day, a cranky baby with upset tummy who pukes all over his Mom.

Maybe, as much as I love the merry happy holidays, we should just skip it this year?

Dad
[11W6D] Fathers can never understand the job of a mother is tremendously more difficult than theirs. But some do try. Back in our parents’ generation, Dads don’t even touch the babies at all. Yes, I do get very frustrated with Woz at times, but I still appreciate his help and his willingness to discuss in details about CC’s growth, parenting plan, and future.

Cluster Feeding
[3M] CC was finally sleeping 3-5 hour stretches at night lately, but all of a sudden he’s waking up every 2 hours wanting to eat at night, and even more frequent in the day time! Not knowing what’s going on and fear for engorgement and mastitis again, I searched online. Apparently, at 3 months, babies go through growth spurt again! Sometimes though, they do not necessarily growth physically. Sometimes when they’re going through some developmental growth (lifting heads, turning over, learning language), they also cluster feed! After three days, the cluster feeding went away and now he’s back to his normal schedule.

Sleep Training
[3M] I have been reading up on sleep training, and in general I couldn’t agree more with Elizabeth Pantley, the author of “The No-cry Sleep Solution”, that there are only two ways to train a baby to sleep through the night, tears vs. time. And like her, I choose time. Not so much because I am an over protective and pampering Mom, but CC did and may still does have some fundamental physical discomfort that makes it hard for him to fall asleep and stay asleep.

However, we contacted a sleep training consultant recommended by a friend, just to see how things may work. Of course, unlike our pediatrician who thinks sleep training shouldn’t be done prior to 4 months, she believes sleep training should start from birth. Given CC is going to have to adjust to me working from home starting January, and then daycare late January (which coincides with his 4 months mark), we’ve decided to just hold off and wait until then to make our decision on hiring a sleep training consultant. To be honest, now he sleeps at 9-10pm and wakes at 6am, with only one feeding needed in between anyway.  We’ll just have to find some way to shorten that one feeding from 1-hr to 15-min!

Fingers crossed. CC, keep up the good work. Mommy hopes she’ll never have to put you through intensive sleep training which may result in $500 less in our pockets and lots of tears for both of us!

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It’s like a light bulb has turned on in CC’s head, he now is very aware of the surroundings. He can also reason a lot better. I truly truly love my boy and look forward to all the fun we’ll have as mother and son.

Daycare

CC is now officially enrolled in one of the most expensive and hard to get in daycare in San Francisco!
As a new Mom and a now 6 years and counting San Franciscan, I was starting to get a taste of the craziness of San Francisco’s view about daycares, both for babies and for puppies.

At 4 months pregnant, the ink was hardly dry on our pregnancy announcements to our families and friends, we were already warned about how behind we were in signing up for daycare.

“Are you joking?” was my first thought. And no they were not. I did my research and found out, just like colleges, we need to “apply” for those daycares! So I did, made Michael went on one tour, and that was enough for us. We applied to two handfuls of daycares in San Francisco, naively thinking one of them ought to take us by the time CC is out. The keyword was “naively”.

At 2 months old, that is 7 months after applying for his daycare when we didn’t even know his gender, CC was nowhere to be found on the acceptance list of any of these schools! I was nervous! I expanded the area now to also include the cities by my office, and this time personally went to see one.

“Disappointed” was much of an understatement. Okay, in SF, Twilight, our puppy, gets a 3’x5’ room in his daycare. Seriously, a room! He can have his kennel, his bed, his toys all in that room for $55 a night! On the other hand, CC gets a crib that will barely allow him to turn from back to tummy! And it will cost us spanking $2025 a month!

SERIOUSLY!